Becoming an adoptive parent is an incredibly rewarding and enriching experience, but it can also be a
rollercoaster of emotions. The process of adoption can be filled with both joy and heartache, and it can
be difficult to know how to cope with the many conflicting emotions that come with it.
One of the biggest challenges for prospective adoptive parents is the uncertainty of the process. The wait for a match can be long and stressful, with many prospective parents feeling anxious about
whether they will ever be chosen to adopt a child. Additionally, assessment to become a parent can
evoke feelings of vulnerability, with many prospective parents feeling like they are being judged or
scrutinised.
For prospective adopters from a faith background, the process can be even more difficult. Concerns that
adoption agencies may not be familiar with customs or not recognise the value of the different ethnic
cultures within a faith are common and some may feel like their religion is not being taken into account
when they are being matched with a child. Others have felt that they face extra barriers and biases in
the process and feel that they are often deemed as being unable to adopt a child with no recorded faith.
These groups often feel that there is a lack of faith-specific support.
Opening up your home, and values, to outside scrutiny takes a lot of strength and courage, and
withstanding that process in itself should be rewarded and celebrated.
My Adoption Family are one of the few organisations in the UK that provide faith-specific support to
make adopters of faith feel seen, heard and appreciated. We feel it is important for prospective
adopters to understand that they are not alone in their feelings and that it’s normal to experience a
wide range of emotions during the adoption process. This is a life changing event and it can feel
daunting.
Therefore, it is essential to build a support system. It can be helpful to connect with other prospective
adopters who are going through the same process and can understand the emotions that one is
experiencing. Joining a buddy support group can also provide a sense of community and belonging.
A buddy service that also provides counselling is particularly beneficial. Adoption-specific counsellors
can provide guidance and support for working through the emotional aspects of adoption. They can help
to process feelings and develop coping strategies to deal with the ups and downs of the adoption
process.
My Adoption Family offers a free Adoption Buddy Service which can help address these gaps for
prospective adopters currently in stage 1, 2 or 3. This support service can link prospective adopters with
others in the same stage via a 1-2-1 Buddy setup and offer Buddy Group support under the guidance of
a trained Buddy Group Facilitator. The service was set up and geared towards supporting Muslim
adopters, but has since expanded to include prospective adopters of other faiths as well.
In contrast to relying solely on the social worker, the Adoption Buddy Service offers a more nurturing,
holistic and nurturing form of support, often using counselling methods and building relationships. One of the greatest benefits of joining a Buddy Group or a 1-2-1 Buddy is that support and advice is moulded
around one’s own situation and circumstances.
Our Buddy Group Facilitators have first-hand experience of adoption and receive training to provide a
supportive framework for adopters. For example, they can help you learn about the various aspects of
adoption, such as stages 1, 2 and 3, panel meetings, anxiety of adopters and the experience of other
adopters.
So far the feedback from this service has been really positive:
- “It is nice to speak to someone who understands Islam and Adoption”
- “We are happy to have found this group with other Muslims”
- “We feel comfortable asking questions”
For more information about the free Adoption Buddy Service or to request support, please visit
https://myadoptionfamily.org.uk/support/
Sa’Diyya Mayet
Adoption Buddy Service Coordinator
My Adoption Family
Keep in touch:
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